I have been staring at my computer screen for the past month thinking about how I am going to come back to my blog and if I am actually going to commit to it. October was a really hard month for me when it comes to my anxiety, and it got really hard for me to control it, so I just didn’t have the creativity nor the confidence to write about how I was feeling. From now on I want to change that.ย
Ever since I created this blog (even though it was for a class) I felt that I could use it as a way to express how I was/am feeling. However, I have never really used it to talk about what is really going on in my personal (mental) life because, I guess, I have always been scared to share how I feel, and have felt during certain situations. SOOOOOO I have decided to change how I share my thoughts. I am going to start using my blog as a platform to share my emotions, thoughts, and occurrences (same but different). I am going to be more open about the things that make me feel anxious and low, as well as share those that make me feel happy and whole.
This is a new and much-needed chapter for my mental and emotional health. I am finally pouring out those thoughts and things that make me feel overwhelmed and stressed out. This blog will become a type of diary for me (but don’t fret!! I will still make lighthearted blog posts) (as I have mentioned, I cannot be serious a long period of time). But before starting this new chapter, WE HAVE TO CATCH UP.

WHO ELSE LIKES TO DISAPPEAR WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE ANYTHING AND THEN APPEARING WITH A CATCH-UP BLOG?!?!?!? only me? oh, ok.

- I GOT A NEW JOB THAT ACTUALLY MAKES ME WANT TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNINGS!!1!!. I will talk more about this on another post where I will talk about my thoughts and how I felt about the last job I had (which is one of the blog posts that I want to write but I am so terrified to share).
- I tried freelancing and it didn’t work for me. I wrote a blog post about freelancing for one of my JRM classes in which I wondered if maybe I could be a freelancer; THE ANSWER IS NO.
- I re-organized my room five times (yes, in one month) (had to do something to stop myself from eating five chocolate boxes every time I started overthinking about something)
- I have been thinking of finding new ways to be creative. I actually came up with a WHOLE plan to start uploading videos to youtube (not to become a YouTuber or anything) (just to make fun videos). Something that I really miss from my video class is going out and making videos and then coming back home to edit them and show them to my friends and family. Might start doing it again…. (don’t quote me on that though)
- since I always update you on this, here ya go.

still cute.
Alright alright alright, that is everything I have for you today. I will talk to you in my next blog post! or should I say, diary log?
bisous xx

p.s. what the actual f is this new update?
